YOGA, AND ME

My Teacher recently asked, 'What is Yoga to you?'. And Without a doubt, my answer is 'Awareness'.

Yoga is all about Awareness. Believe me, I didn't get this from a book. It is true that the concept of Awareness was first introduced to me verbally, but it was only when I begin my practice then I experience Awareness for what it truly is. And the realization is powerful. B.K.S Iyenger said, 'Yoga is a disappointing subject', and I cannot agree more. I remember my first practice which completely threw me off from realizing how under-worked my body was. I knew I was weak, but I didn't realize I was THAT weak. Every inch of my body sored (except the front of my shins and my facial muscle) from just simple stretches, and my back cried out from an old prolapsed disc injury. It bruised my ego, completely, making me realized in many aspect, not just physically, that I was not as good as I thought I was.

The strange thing was, instead of feeling down and out, I felt revived. It was like a little death to an old thought which brought about birth to something new. And knowing that I was a piece of shit suddenly shed light on the huge capacity for growth - unlimited and boundless. At that moment, I was humbled.

Contrast, is the most valuable experience in life for without the Sun, would you appreciate rain? Without darkness, can you see light? Without unconsciousness, can you recognize awakening? And before awareness could be felt, we need to be aware that we were not aware before. When that happens, transformation begins. Something in me shifted, right after my first yoga class.

Awareness creates connection to our hearts; connection to the real essence that lies in ours hearts but sadly suppressed due to conditioning, rules and ideas created by living situations, or purely from our minds. From being aware of our physical body to our mental activities, then moving inwards to our emotions, all these gradually gave rise to acute understanding of the self. Your innate wisdom and intelligence shines when your mental, emotional and physical aspects aligned. And in the most profound way, it creates understanding, freedom, balance, peace and responsiveness to everything around you. It is this same alignment that links one heart to another; relating, loving and rejoicing.

With Awareness, ego dissolves and space is created. And from this egoless space we watched our thoughts and emotions without labels and judgment. Involved but not attached, playful and never overwhelmed, our experiences and interactions with our surroundings intensified. And you will be surprised that while you stay within this space, meditation is actually happening; not just when you are sitting straight with eyes closed, but when you are eating, walking, playing, loving and even crying.

The same teacher once quoted a book, 'Every sickness is home sickness'. And true enough, when we are alert, awake and aware, in a simple and poignant manner, we are home.

Yoga? Just do it!