FLOW, RIVER FLOW

Face it! Just because we are yoga teachers does not necessarily mean we are free of worries and we never get bored down by the challenges of life. Students looked upon us as mentors who are more spiritually advanced. Some placed their trust and opened up to us with their problems. But we do have moments of 'misalignment' too. And while we fight the battle with our egoistic mind, knowing too well we are momentarily lost, we dial 'SOS' to anything, everything, and watch out for signs that could help us get centered again.

I stood at the top of my mat with one hand cupped over the other and gently placed them below my navel; a gesture to support the full force of all events that had been weighing down on me. Eyes closed, and joints flaccid, my deep breathing brought me slowly to full confrontation with the incessant chatters that had been going on in my head the past weeks.

"....he only wants to get into your pants...", "......Damn the Nords....", ".....I never think about the consequences, its all about me....", "....B, I am very angry....", ".....I love the part timers but full timers come first.....", ".......I'm not about to beg you to pick it up.....", ".....throat Chakra issues, speak the truth....", ".....he is totally ungrateful.....", "....we need to move...", "......I wouldn't book the flight if I had known this is coming......", "....take that fucking pretentious forlorn look off your face....", "....let him go, give the book to someone else..."

And as Franck's voice led us through movements that seemed to erased the past and churned the dormant energy trapped right at the bottom of our pits, I felt an upward and outward surge of an intangible force starting in my body.

Flow, river flow. That's what it felt like. As we move through sequences cued by Franck's charismatic voice, I found myself tearing as an expression of release. Every channel in my body seemed awakened, alert and alive, opening the trap doors that had rusted from immobility and self absorption. Tears and sweat, not sure which is more, were dripping down my face, blurring my vision but I find no need to wipe or hide them. I was crying like I never did before in any asana practice but instead of crumbling and shaking, I felt revived, steady and strangely free. And as the practice moves deeper and stronger, my body became as fluid as water and as light as feather. I retreated to the space of stillness I lost, and I allow, simply allow. The gaze in my eyes brighten as they see again for the first time.

At the end of 90 minutes, I was home and totally glad to be. I turned to Christine and said, 'He threw that bloody bird completely out of my system'. She laughed. I could hear the waves in Brisbane and see the strength in my teacher's eyes. I know everything is going to be OK.It was a beautiful class. And Franck Bessoles, you rock!