I've disappeared from my blog for more a year, and that is because I was so busy with life; the constant changes life brings. I was not a person who could handle the unknown very well; still am not but I can safely say I am better now. I used to plan, foresee and re-plan to the last details because I don't like to be caught by nasty surprises, and I don't like to know I didn't do enough to prevent mishaps from happening. As such, the last 1.5 year, had been hell of a ride.
Many of you know I had moved to Australia to be with Paul. Australia is known to be a fantastic Country with beautiful beaches, fresh air and food, massive cultural diversity acceptance and laid back attitude. Its is also known for its massive drinking culture, unique slangs and quirkiness amongst its people.
When I 1st lived here, I speak and walk too fast. I was perceived as too serious because I don't drink, and I don't laugh at their jokes because I do not understand their slangs. My Singaporean upbringing does not initiate interaction so I'm seen as aloof, and my need to upkeep accountability made me seemed rigid. I was shocked that real estates agents do not work after office hours and we have to take time off from work if we want to view a unit, and I was put off by the 'drink-till-you-are-smashed-completely' activity that went on weekend after weekend. Australians seemed incapable of keeping themselves sober when they gather, and with drinking comes smoking. I hated it, and I still hate it.
I learned to slow down, learned their expressions, and I learned to take my holidays and weekends as seriously as they do. It constantly forces me to think outside of the box and pushes me beyond my comfort zone. And in an ironic way, it is an expansive exercise. But I still struggled with the drinking culture; the intention behind every intoxication Australians put into their body, the irresponsible behavior of drink driving, the embarrassment the drunken behavior brought to their families and the public, the social problem created from too much drinking, and the amount of money wasted to curb all these problems.
I personally felt anger when Australians continue to create a nuisance out of themselves. But here I am, dealing with a force that is not within my control. It felt like me vs Australia, and I will never win. I will also never like it. There was a period of time I had hated Australia, and I constantly wanted to flee. Some say, 'If you run when there is trouble, you will never work out a solution." I can't remember who said that, but I suspect it was my inner voice. So I stayed, and I struggled, not knowing where it would take me, and not knowing if I will ever see light. I have no working rights so I've stopped teaching. The yoga scene here is overrated, and my critical mind cannot get pass the immature teachings in the classes I've attended. I have not made any friends and my family is in Singapore. I felt I was loosing my identity when I loose grip of everything I know, and I felt I was disappearing into this foreign ocean of change and unfamiliarity. I was lonely and constantly depressed, and I lost weight.
My views of Australia changed when Queensland was hit by a major flood in January 2011. When I saw the unity and the community spirit displayed by the Australians, who stepped up to help each other regardless of anything, I had a new found respect for them and I was immensely humbled. I realised I was wrong to judge. I opened my heart to the other side of Australia, and I learned that Australians have a side to them that are very genuine and kind at the core. I still don't understand the need for them to drink that much, but I have started to accept Australia. I still struggled, but they had become easier.
I watched a lot of local TV to help me understand Australia. I've also taken a few trips home to help me reconcile the cultural misfit and gap I was experiencing. It helped too after my working rights were granted in June 2011, and I began to explore the community from a different perspective. It was from my last trip in August 2012 when I went back to Singapore and Thailand to teach did I realise I had slowly gotten used to life in Australia. It had taken me more than a year. The strange thing was, I actually felt more grounded than I've ever been, and I was told that my teaching actually improved. Something had changed for the better inside me.
When Australia Immigration finally gave me an in-principle approval for my provisional PR status in October 2011, the sense of relief I felt made me realised I had gone from wanting to leave, to really wanting to stay. I recalled the intensity of change I had been through, and it almost felt like a medal from God to both Paul and I, rewarding us for sticking through it. Paul had went through as much changes and as intense as I have experienced, to get to where I am with me. He is a good man.
Now, I am able to watch an Australian movie or listen to a conversation and laugh at the jokes, and I was recently told I had developed an Australian accent by an Australian police woman. Some locals asked me how long I have been here because I behaved like I know my ways around. That must be something. We are happily settled now, dealing with life's normal challenge of making a living, looking for a bigger place to move. I've got the perfect job and made some wonderful friends, and Paul's business is finally taking flight. We are looking forward too, because we have been blessed with another gift, one of life's wonderful surprises! I am better at dealing with surprises now... :)
I am better, and I feel better.... so much better. Thank you Paul, Carlos, and all my Singapore friends who helped kept me sane the last long year... Couldn't have done it without you.
Many of you know I had moved to Australia to be with Paul. Australia is known to be a fantastic Country with beautiful beaches, fresh air and food, massive cultural diversity acceptance and laid back attitude. Its is also known for its massive drinking culture, unique slangs and quirkiness amongst its people.
When I 1st lived here, I speak and walk too fast. I was perceived as too serious because I don't drink, and I don't laugh at their jokes because I do not understand their slangs. My Singaporean upbringing does not initiate interaction so I'm seen as aloof, and my need to upkeep accountability made me seemed rigid. I was shocked that real estates agents do not work after office hours and we have to take time off from work if we want to view a unit, and I was put off by the 'drink-till-you-are-smashed-completely' activity that went on weekend after weekend. Australians seemed incapable of keeping themselves sober when they gather, and with drinking comes smoking. I hated it, and I still hate it.
I learned to slow down, learned their expressions, and I learned to take my holidays and weekends as seriously as they do. It constantly forces me to think outside of the box and pushes me beyond my comfort zone. And in an ironic way, it is an expansive exercise. But I still struggled with the drinking culture; the intention behind every intoxication Australians put into their body, the irresponsible behavior of drink driving, the embarrassment the drunken behavior brought to their families and the public, the social problem created from too much drinking, and the amount of money wasted to curb all these problems.
I personally felt anger when Australians continue to create a nuisance out of themselves. But here I am, dealing with a force that is not within my control. It felt like me vs Australia, and I will never win. I will also never like it. There was a period of time I had hated Australia, and I constantly wanted to flee. Some say, 'If you run when there is trouble, you will never work out a solution." I can't remember who said that, but I suspect it was my inner voice. So I stayed, and I struggled, not knowing where it would take me, and not knowing if I will ever see light. I have no working rights so I've stopped teaching. The yoga scene here is overrated, and my critical mind cannot get pass the immature teachings in the classes I've attended. I have not made any friends and my family is in Singapore. I felt I was loosing my identity when I loose grip of everything I know, and I felt I was disappearing into this foreign ocean of change and unfamiliarity. I was lonely and constantly depressed, and I lost weight.
My views of Australia changed when Queensland was hit by a major flood in January 2011. When I saw the unity and the community spirit displayed by the Australians, who stepped up to help each other regardless of anything, I had a new found respect for them and I was immensely humbled. I realised I was wrong to judge. I opened my heart to the other side of Australia, and I learned that Australians have a side to them that are very genuine and kind at the core. I still don't understand the need for them to drink that much, but I have started to accept Australia. I still struggled, but they had become easier.
I watched a lot of local TV to help me understand Australia. I've also taken a few trips home to help me reconcile the cultural misfit and gap I was experiencing. It helped too after my working rights were granted in June 2011, and I began to explore the community from a different perspective. It was from my last trip in August 2012 when I went back to Singapore and Thailand to teach did I realise I had slowly gotten used to life in Australia. It had taken me more than a year. The strange thing was, I actually felt more grounded than I've ever been, and I was told that my teaching actually improved. Something had changed for the better inside me.
When Australia Immigration finally gave me an in-principle approval for my provisional PR status in October 2011, the sense of relief I felt made me realised I had gone from wanting to leave, to really wanting to stay. I recalled the intensity of change I had been through, and it almost felt like a medal from God to both Paul and I, rewarding us for sticking through it. Paul had went through as much changes and as intense as I have experienced, to get to where I am with me. He is a good man.
Now, I am able to watch an Australian movie or listen to a conversation and laugh at the jokes, and I was recently told I had developed an Australian accent by an Australian police woman. Some locals asked me how long I have been here because I behaved like I know my ways around. That must be something. We are happily settled now, dealing with life's normal challenge of making a living, looking for a bigger place to move. I've got the perfect job and made some wonderful friends, and Paul's business is finally taking flight. We are looking forward too, because we have been blessed with another gift, one of life's wonderful surprises! I am better at dealing with surprises now... :)
I am better, and I feel better.... so much better. Thank you Paul, Carlos, and all my Singapore friends who helped kept me sane the last long year... Couldn't have done it without you.
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